Practice Helper

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Hello and welcome, well-meaning Moms,  Dads and teachers. In my experience, Mom does most of the practice assistance outside of the lessons. Because she’s at home more? Is she more patient? Does she have more ideas for fun practice activities?

I don’t really know. I do know that a few Dads get right in there and encourage their kids during practice time. Very many of them can play the instrument themselves and know about practicing.

Perhaps you’ve just embarked on a new instrumental adventure with your child. Maybe you have kids who are already playing instruments and would love to encourage them in the most positive way imaginable. You might, on the other hand, be at your wits end with stubborn children who hate practicing or, don’t if they can get by with it.

Welcome to the club!

I’ve been an instrumental teacher for over 45 years and a mother for more than half of that time. I’m convinced my kids went into puberty straight after birth. “Hey, I’m supposed to be an expert at this!” I told myself day after frustrating day while attempting to get my kids to begin their daily practice session. It was always a question who had the better nerves.

I didn’t.

I remember the time I was waiting for my son to begin his practice session. He refused. I mentioned patiently (with clenched teeth) that he wouldn’t be able to do anything else until practice was finished. He sat on that piano bench, staring at the music for a full half hour! Knowing I’d have to start teaching in another fifteen minutes, the sweat was starting to slide down my back. Consequence, wasn’t that the rule? Don’t give in or the kids will run your life.

I must have had a friend in higher places because Lukas started playing his pieces. Saved by the bell!

No child (and most caretakers) is born knowing how to practice. The only thing they know is that they want to be able to play immediately!

Although parents come up with plenty of practical tips and games, no one has a magic wand. There is no getting round the fact that practicing any skill on a regular basis ultimately demands discipline.

Over the years I’ve worked on the challenging subject of motivation and practice skills. I’ve taught thousands of children, adults and have even taught the subject at German Schools of Music.

I haven’t yet found that magic wand.

Everyone loves listening to music, ripping our new CDs out of the plastic before we even get home or saving our hard-earned cash to see our favourite bands. Indeed, the love of music seems to be innate.  Just look at small children, for example, who begin to dance and clap their hands the moment a song is played. 

For whatever reasons, however, the desire to learn to play music isn’t so inborn, as is evident by how very few people actually play an instrument.  But what any musician will tell you is that although there’s nothing like the enjoyment you receive from listening to your favourite song by your favourite artist or band, it’s nothing compared to the enjoyment of actually playing a song, because when you play a song—whether it’s by yourself or with fellow musicians—you actually become a part of it. It’s an age-old pastime enjoyed by people of every culture in every corner of the world. It brings together families and friends, colleagues and neighbours, who join together to play or to simply sing or clap along to their favourite tune.

So why don’t more people play instruments?

Perhaps because many people believe that you have to start playing music at a young age. This is why so many parents push their young children into learning, hoping that their little Johnny or Janie will become the music aficionado that they had hoped of themselves, believing that of course their child will thank them someday.

Another reason few people play an instrument is that unlike other modern cultures, who practice the art of studying music in a relaxed and casual atmosphere, where the student feels comfortable and at ease, learning an instrument has become an increasingly structured and even stressful experience in our society; indeed, it has turned it into yet another dreaded event in the lives of children, who put it in their top ten list of things they dislike, alongside being forced to finish their spinach or cleaning up their room. Yuck!

But it hasn’t always been this way.  Years ago—at a time when family gatherings around the piano after dinner were a nightly occurrence—children were excited to learn an instrument.  In fact, some kids wanted to learn so badly that they did extra chores to help pay for their lessons. 

So how do we get that excitement back?

The answer is simple: just make practicing an instrument more like playing it.

It all starts at the beginning with the letter A, for Atmosphere and Attitude.  By creating an atmosphere of love for music, parents will help nurture an appreciation for it in their children, which will then open the door to learning an instrument.  By doing simple things, such as singing their favourite songs while doing the evening dishes or by having instruments—whether it be a keyboard or a kazoo—lying around the house, parents will demonstrate an affinity toward music, which will be subconsciously passed on to their children. Consequently, the children will then feel at ease with music and will be far more likely to want to learn an instrument.

Then What?

Now that your child is ready to start learning an instrument, it is now more important than ever to maintain that music-friendly atmosphere you created. The first step is to focus on the positive, including encouraging your children to concentrate on learning the songs they love and to skip the ones they find tedious or boring.  This will not only make it a more enjoyable experience for your children, but they will also learn the songs in much faster time. Besides concentrating on the positive, it’s also a good idea to keep the negative at bay.  For this reason, it is important to realize that learning how to read music is simply too difficult for some children, an experience that can in and of itself create an anxiety that can turn your kids away from music for good.

The second step in maintaining a music-friendly atmosphere is to create an open stream of which your children can gain insight and inspiration to help them with their instrument.  Besides providing music lessons, you might also want to consider the many media options available, including television, CDs, DVDs and the internet. It’s also good to introduce your children to other people that play music, whether they’re professionals or fellow beginners. This will give your children a sense of belonging to a musical community.

Above all, remind your children that their enjoyment of music is the most important thing, not whether they become the next Mozart or McCartney.  If the desire is there, the determination will follow.